Where’s My Meat?! Zucchini Cakes

As the first installment of a series I am going to call Where’s My Meat?!, I will post a recipe for zucchini cakes that I more or less copied from the interwebs. With photos! Hurray!

To start, get all your ingredients and tools together.


After gathering your goods, the first order of business is to turn those zucchinis into a pile of shredded plant matter.


Use the knife to cut off the weird crown at the end of each zucchini, then get to work with that cheese grater. I used the larger openings, but I’m sure the smaller will work as well. Just different texture.


Next, slice and dice half a onion into tiny pieces and add it to the mix.


Likewise with the three cloves of garlic.

Now throw some salt and pepper in there. I put a crap load of pepper, because I enjoy spice.


Finally, crack open the two eggs, throw them straight into the bowl with everything else, and then get started with the saltines. Crunch them into large chunks and continue adding/mixing until you have a sticky mixture that clumps to itself.


Now, take small handfuls of our creation and mold them into tiny patties. Place them on a greased pan and throw them in the fridge so they set up and solidify just a wee bit.


While they are doing their thing in the cold, take the time to prepare the sauce that will accompany the snack.

Dill and pepper yogurt sauce. Fucking. Amazing.


Empty the Greek yogurt into a vessel (in my case a coffee cup).

Chop up a handful of dill. Add it.

Squeeze juice of half lemon in as well.

Salt and pepper. I even put red pepper in it as well.


Now yank those cakes out of the fridge and throw them into some hot oil. Watch out of course. Don’t be dumb.

Let them fryyyyyy…


It’s all about the presentation. Plate them, place a dollop of the sauce on top, and garnish with some type of herb (cilantro).


Then eat them.


3 Zucchini

3 cloves garlic

Half a lemon

1 sleeve Saltine Crackers

Half a onion

1 Small container of Greek yogurt




2 eggs



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